Limits: A Rant

So, to start, Nanowrimo is over, and I didn’t make the word limit. I am not stopping, though, there’s a story to be told! Right now I have to very different turning points that I can’t decide between. I’m so tempted to turn it into one of those “choose your own adventure” books so I won’t have to decide, but that’s not fair so, I’ll sort it out with my head. The past couple of weeks have kept me very busy. Between writing the novel, obligatory holiday socializing, and a daunting new workout routine, there has been very little time for me to focus my thoughts long enough to update. Note that this is not an apology, I’m just explaining where I’ve been.

My Thanksgiving was better than expected. I was invited to the home of a dear friend whom I met in training to join in feast and festivities (i.e. watching the cutest kids ever play while watching not football on TV). Anyway the food and friends were all wonderful. I saw Harry Potter that weekend and that was pretty awesome, and not awesome at the same time because damn it! How does it end?! But then I went to a gathering of like 70-80 women. Fantastic! Annnnd a bunch of other stuff not really “mentionable”. But suffice it to say that the holiday season is underway, and it is good.

Anyway, I have about 45 minutes of me time now, so I’ll share what’s on my mind; limits.

Too often do I find myself involved with someone who says, “I’m not looking for anything (insert adjective here – some examples: serious, long-lasting, special)” and I think to myself, “who is?” The best things happen when you’re not looking for them, but people love to put these limitations in place. Most of the time it’s to protect themselves from getting hurt. Well, I have a big problem with that. Not only is getting hurt a fact of life, but it’s also potentially one of the most positive things that can happen to a person. It can teach you things about yourself and other people that you couldn’t have learned any other way. It can open your mind to new experiences that you may have missed. It can make you stronger, which is totally cliché but you know it’s true. If nothing else it can serve as proof that whatever it was that hurt you, was meaningful enough to have an impact, and really, what’s the value in rejecting that impact?

So, to all those people who say, “I just want to have fun” or “I just don’t want you to get hurt” first of all, fuck you! I’ll decide that for myself. And secondly, I’d like you all to know that you’re selling yourselves short. You’re trying to know the ending before you even begin, and life just doesn’t work that way. So what I’m suggesting is to just let go of all that pretense. Instead of limiting yourself by what you think you know, just make yourself open to whatever happens. Even if it’s brief, at least it will be real. At least you will have allowed yourself to feel the truth. The pain? Come on, we all know it’s worth it!

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